It was a trying weekend.  We often go to the cabin on the weekend only to have to "deal" with a frustrating person.  A person who fully believes she does nothing wrong because and I quote "my home my rules".   I know people do things because they want to help but my children already have two parents... just saying.  Frustration sets in when you have people over talking you as you try to explain things to your two year old; if it is not hard enough already for her to understand.  Then you go home only to get a flat tire on the way so you dont get your children to bed until 10pm.  Poor Calli was emotional and very tired.  Thank goodness for our DVD player and Mickey Mouse Clubhouse to distract her.

I recently watched a video on Facebook that was a woman's message before dying.  She had two young children so it really hit home for me.  Would I be able to stand in front of 600 or so people and be able to say cancer is what God's plans were for me?  The thought of leaving my babies makes my heart hurt (even if it is dying of old age in 60 years)..... so to tie this all in....

I asked my husband if our flat tire was God trying to send us a message.  What type of message?  Maybe that it is time to slow down. Maybe its that we have been on a wrong path.  Maybe its about patience.  Maybe its about relying on someone other than ourselves.  This all came shortly after a "discussion" about the frustrating person and being tired of dealing with them.  And then having a "discussion" about us.  I truly believed the flat tire was a message.

But now what?  Now that I realize it was a message what do I do with it?  I want things to be happier in our lives.  I want our relationship to be healthier.  I want to have a stronger relationship with God.  I also need my husband to want some of the same things.  So we will see where this "road" takes us.

Well it has definitely been interesting trying to raise children and balance a healthy relationship.  I would like to talk about something other than potty training, breast feeding, or how many times I have changed diapers today.  My husband doesnt sleep in the bedroom as he believes that he should be getting a good nights sleep for work and says that I know what he would be like if he did not get enough sleep.  It is frustrating.  I know he needs sleep.... but I would also like to feel like he wants to be there for me too.  He will come and hang out in the bedroom, watch what he wants on the tv and then he says he is going to bed and leaves.  There is no talking.... no interactions... he says that we are together watching tv so he is spending time with me.  Its not about quantity, its about quality!

I dont mean to complain.... but its not like anyone reads this but me.  My house isnt clean but the moment I clean it I have a husband that comes home and makes a mess... a toddler that makes a mess.... and a baby that requires a lot of attention.  I know being a mom means really giving up yourself for your family.... but I still need a part of me to exist.

Baby #2

So it has been way over a year since I have posted anything.  But now that our baby boy is here... it makes life a little more interesting!

Calli's update:
Calli is almost 100% potty trained.  I can not believe how big she has gotten.  She is 26 months (2 years 2 months) and is a bright shining light in my life.  There is nothing like watching her dance and giggle or sing a song and smile.  While she is mischievous (recently dumped a whole tub of flour on the floor and all over herself after having a bath or painting her room and self with a tub of diaper cream)... life would definitely not be interesting without her!
We recently got Calli's blood work done to help find out what she is allergic to.  Instead the doctor discovered that she has an under-active thyroid.  So what does this mean for her?  Well it is the reason for her poop problems and random allergic reactions to food.  It also is a reason for the amount she sleeps or her quick moody reactions.  It is also the reason she is such a little pipsqueak.  We are waiting for an appointment with the pediatrician to see what we need to do next.  I thank God for doctors and their knowledge and that she will be able to catch up once on medications.
Calli loves sleeping in her big girl bed and cuddling with her piglet.  She loves her turtle and octopus that project images of stars and fish and bubble all over her room.  Calli loves anything musical, especially when watching Mickey Mouse Clubhouse or Little Einstein.  She can count with you to 10 and you cant count down when she is in trouble because 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 means BLAST OFF and she will go running.
Calli is in love with her baby brother.  At first she wanted to send him back but now she just wants to help in whatever way she can, even if it means swinging him in his swing or trying to give him a blanket when not needed.  But I can not help but smile when she cuddles right up to him and says "Love you baby brother cade".

All About Cade:
Cade was born on July 4, weighing in at 8lbs even and 21 inches long.  He was born at 8:38 pm after 38 hrs of contractions 2-6 min apart.  My babies sure like it better inside my tummy.  Must be comfy!  He is a pretty great baby so far and even sleeps 4-5 hrs straight at night.  I am so lucky!  Cade looks exactly like me when I was a baby, much to the dismay of his father that just wants a child that looks like him.  Curtis is already dreaming of him being a hockey player and cant wait to get him in skates.  I told Curtis he needs to be old enough to walk first.

Other than that I am happy to be off work for a year, even though I love what I do!  There is nothing like being able to be with both my babies and watching them grow.  I am slowly getting into my own groove with housework, teaching Calli new things, and feeding Cade (who would love to eat ever hour!).  Love my job as a mamma!

What the....

Ok i know, i know, it has been an insanely long time since i have written anything.  I guess other than being one of those mothers who brags about their kid and their bodily functions and their amazing features, i feel i have nothing.

I went back to work just after Easter.  I am enjoying being back at work but still struggle leaving Calli at a sitters.  I mean my sitter is great.  She takes amazing care of my baby girl like she was her own.  But I miss Calli so much all day long.  Ugh.. i hate money and needing it.  I fully believe now, when its too late, that you should always live on one persons income and then the others is just bonus.

Anyways, I got nothing.  Seriously.... does anybody even read this anyways?

The weather is quite cold today compared to the last few weeks so I am doing my best to stay indoors. When I go outdoors, its usually followed by a hot cup of tea or coffee. Although, i really cant complain as the weather has been absolutely beautiful. I was quite upset to find out that we may not actually have a white christmas. I live in the prairies for petes sake!

I havent got to many of the things i planned on baking. I did butter tarts, shortbread, tingalings, cranberry bliss bars and peppermint pinwheels. I am part of a baking exchange that involved 12 people so i though i would wait and see what comes out of that first. The cookies are due on the 14th so its not that far away.

Calli is growing like a weed! She is so happy and cute. She has discovered how to do different things with her tongue so she spends most of her time drooling, making clicking noises, or just plain sticking out her tongue. It makes me smile!

I really got nothing else. I could complain about how much it cost to send cards and packages off today but im sure everyone is feeling the same thing!

The Baker is Back!

Ok so I made homeade buns and bread today. Dont know why, just really wanted to. And then I ate three buns. They were so amazing and so easy. It was the simplest recipe ever and it actually tasted amazing! Butter and jam. That is all you need in my opinion.

Since my last baking fiasco i also made banana bread that tasted great! This has gotten me in the mood to start my Christmas baking. I have made my list and found the recipes that i think i am going to use.
1. Nanaimo Bars
2. Cranberry Bliss Bars (mock of Starbucks)
3. Shortbread
4. Toffee
5. Butter Tarts
6. Fudge
7. Peppermint Pinwheels
8. Gingerbread Men
9. Lemon Squares
10. Peanut Butter Balls

It is going to take me a while but I am okay with that. I have lots of time when Calli takes great naps. Which she did today, hence making the bread.

Calli survived her shots! She did really well. She had a fever the first night, just a little, but that was it. But she does have some problems with constipation and we ended up having to take her to the doctor. She had some blood in her poop which really sucked. The poor thing was in pain. So now she has medication that has barely been working. We will see what happens. She seems happier so it must be doing something.

Curtis has been officiating hockey a lot these last few weekends. It gets pretty lonely some days. I mean I have my daughter, but there is only so much talking you can do with her. Although she can be pretty entertaining. Her giggles and full on laughs. The big smiles. The babbling. Gotta love being a mom!

Calli has shots again tomorrow. I am not looking forward to it. It makes me upset knowing that I am going to put my little girl through pain. The look she gives you like she is saying, "Mommy why did you do that to me?" Seriously, breaks your heart!

I cant believe that my baby girl is 6 1/2 months old. This is not fair. She is growing too fast. Now I know there are positives to whatever age she will be. But right now she is so cuddly and smiles a lot. She is not a crabby baby. She brings so much happiness to our lives. I hope it continues as she gets older.

On another note.... am I losing my touch with baking?

This morning I made apple cinnamon muffins. Healthy ones. They were like rubber. Seriously! You could barely get the wrapper off and, if i tried, probably could have bounced them off the floor. Ugh. Someone tell me what I did wrong.

Next... the other day I made mint chocolate mini cupcakes. They sucked. I was disappointed. They ended up more like brownies with wrappers on them. How can people say the recipes are so amazing when they turn out like that?

Could it be the change in weather? Could it be bad baking powder? I dont know... maybe I am truly just losing my touch!