The weather is quite cold today compared to the last few weeks so I am doing my best to stay indoors. When I go outdoors, its usually followed by a hot cup of tea or coffee. Although, i really cant complain as the weather has been absolutely beautiful. I was quite upset to find out that we may not actually have a white christmas. I live in the prairies for petes sake!

I havent got to many of the things i planned on baking. I did butter tarts, shortbread, tingalings, cranberry bliss bars and peppermint pinwheels. I am part of a baking exchange that involved 12 people so i though i would wait and see what comes out of that first. The cookies are due on the 14th so its not that far away.

Calli is growing like a weed! She is so happy and cute. She has discovered how to do different things with her tongue so she spends most of her time drooling, making clicking noises, or just plain sticking out her tongue. It makes me smile!

I really got nothing else. I could complain about how much it cost to send cards and packages off today but im sure everyone is feeling the same thing!

The Baker is Back!

Ok so I made homeade buns and bread today. Dont know why, just really wanted to. And then I ate three buns. They were so amazing and so easy. It was the simplest recipe ever and it actually tasted amazing! Butter and jam. That is all you need in my opinion.

Since my last baking fiasco i also made banana bread that tasted great! This has gotten me in the mood to start my Christmas baking. I have made my list and found the recipes that i think i am going to use.
1. Nanaimo Bars
2. Cranberry Bliss Bars (mock of Starbucks)
3. Shortbread
4. Toffee
5. Butter Tarts
6. Fudge
7. Peppermint Pinwheels
8. Gingerbread Men
9. Lemon Squares
10. Peanut Butter Balls

It is going to take me a while but I am okay with that. I have lots of time when Calli takes great naps. Which she did today, hence making the bread.

Calli survived her shots! She did really well. She had a fever the first night, just a little, but that was it. But she does have some problems with constipation and we ended up having to take her to the doctor. She had some blood in her poop which really sucked. The poor thing was in pain. So now she has medication that has barely been working. We will see what happens. She seems happier so it must be doing something.

Curtis has been officiating hockey a lot these last few weekends. It gets pretty lonely some days. I mean I have my daughter, but there is only so much talking you can do with her. Although she can be pretty entertaining. Her giggles and full on laughs. The big smiles. The babbling. Gotta love being a mom!

Calli has shots again tomorrow. I am not looking forward to it. It makes me upset knowing that I am going to put my little girl through pain. The look she gives you like she is saying, "Mommy why did you do that to me?" Seriously, breaks your heart!

I cant believe that my baby girl is 6 1/2 months old. This is not fair. She is growing too fast. Now I know there are positives to whatever age she will be. But right now she is so cuddly and smiles a lot. She is not a crabby baby. She brings so much happiness to our lives. I hope it continues as she gets older.

On another note.... am I losing my touch with baking?

This morning I made apple cinnamon muffins. Healthy ones. They were like rubber. Seriously! You could barely get the wrapper off and, if i tried, probably could have bounced them off the floor. Ugh. Someone tell me what I did wrong.

Next... the other day I made mint chocolate mini cupcakes. They sucked. I was disappointed. They ended up more like brownies with wrappers on them. How can people say the recipes are so amazing when they turn out like that?

Could it be the change in weather? Could it be bad baking powder? I dont know... maybe I am truly just losing my touch!

Lattes and laugher

So it has been a good few days. Had Dana (Curtis' cousin) over for dinner. We havent had anyone over for a while so it was nice to cook for someone else. We all went to Blockbuster as they are closing down all over Canada and have a 25% off sale which we bought 7 movies, three of which were blueray, for $70. Not bad as most of them are pretty new. Other than the Christmas movies I bought. Boy I love Christmas.

Calli got her shots the other day and so has been feverish and a little cranky. But she smiles through it the best she can. I am so blessed by my beautiful little girl. When the going gets tough, just watch her smile and you cant help but do so yourself.

Scrapbooking, so much to do and so little time. But if I actually finish some projects I may feel a sense of accomplishment instead of having that daunting feeling by the piles that I have started but never completed. I mean, what better time than now!

Ok boring post, but i was bored as baby girl is sleeping right now. Should be up soon. Maybe I should shower :)

Sometimes I feel like the past couple of years have been a bust. Made this move to Lloydminster, left all my friends that I have had for so many years, and was working at a job thast some days I felt so useless at. Having problems with the in-laws has made the "bust" feeling even more exclamated. It is horrible, depressing, and infuriating! Then something happened the other day that made things feel a little worth it.

I ran into an old client of mine. When this individual left, i did not know how they were going to do. Facing huge life challenges which included soon to be a parent (then heard a few days later their spouse miscarried), major mental health issues which included depression, anxiety and severe OCD which was characterized by counting, washing of hands, as well as auditory and visual hallucinations. But I was wrong. They were succeeding. They were deciding to chose a positive life. And were successsful despite all the challenges. And my client said something that made it all worth it.... "You saved my life." Wow. Now of course that was followed up by me telling them how they did it themselved by making the firt choice which was to come to treatment, and then making the choices he needed to in order to stay sober. But still.... it made me feel like I helped save one life. Even with all the frustrating things that have happened since i moved here, just knowing that i made an impact in at least 2 peoples lives (the other one is a whole nother story) has made it worth it.

Then I had to ask myself a huge question.... if someone facing all these HUGE life challenges was succeeding so much, what is my problem? Yes there are a lot of issues here.... but not so challenging as a mental illness and addiction. I really need to get over myself and not sit in a funk because i feel my life sucks besides my beautiful daughter whose unconditional love has changed me beyond measure.

Calli Anna Susan Leschinski

Calli Anna Susan Leschinski

Born May 3, 2011 at 10:39 pm.

8 lbs 9 1/2 oz.

21 1/2 inches long.

My beautiful baby girl, the little love of my life!

What am I doing?

I am sitting here on April 23. Does anybody know what April 23 means? Give up? Its my due date and this baby still is not making its long awaited enterance into this world. So what have I been doing isntead?

First of all, I made banana bread. 2 loaves, and brought one to my father in law. I believe that I am single handedly giving him a belly with my banana bread. Curtis buys bananas all the time for his smoothies and half go bad. Thus, banana bread is made at least once every three weeks.

Secondly, I made more diabetic friendly paska for my dad. I made half a batch yesterday just so i could see if it would turn out. It was delicious! Even Curtis loves it. I should have just made it all healthy. But....

I made the regular, unhealthy, totally not good for you paska. A full batch! Curtis' family has only ever had store bought paska (I can hear the groans of all the good germans out there). Store bought is so not good compared to the "real" stuff. So I am going to bring some to Easter dinner tomorrow (as long as this baby is not making its long awaited entrance).

Next.... overnight bun dough. Going to bring those to Easter dinner as long as I have enough flower!

Baby!

I love this picture! Curtis' cousin did maternity photos for us. I was 32 weeks here. Definitely feeling a lot bigger than that now. Now I am just sitting at home, waiting on mat leave for this baby to come. Due in the next 11 days! Here is hoping I dont have to wait that whole time!

Hockey Widow

I believe I am a hockey widow! This Saturday Curtis will be gone reffing and linesing from 11am until 12 am and then he has three games on Sunday. I sometimes have a hard time being alone. Especially when we only get a few hours here and there during the week. Me and Curtis do the chores around the house together and then we relax together. I guess its just me again. Our house hasnt had a super good cleaning for a while and the layer of dust on the shelves can only get so thick. Oh well. Maybe I should hire someone. Nah, I just need to get off my pregnant butt and do something.

Speaking of that.... as we speak the baby is kicking the crap out of my innards haha. I can barely sleep at night because when I lay down I cant catch my breath and when I sit up my body thinks its in wake mode. Poor Curtis, probably drove him nuts last night. Oh well.... less than 10 weeks to go.

Well my husband took me on an awesome weekend away in Edmonton last weekend. We stayed at the Fantasyland Hotel which is in West Edmonton Mall. WE shopped (he spent the most), ate some good food and went to the amazing Dinner Theater at the Mayfield. IT was called the Super Groovy 70s and had amazing music and dancers and there was definitely a lot of laughter. We thought it would be a good idea to get in one last good getaway before baby is born and since I can not fly and Curtis was starting a new job on the Tuesday, Edmonton was the best we could do. All I can say is a jacuzzi tub made it all worth it!

Baby is doing good. Cant believe I am starting my 30th week already. Not too long and the baby will be here. Cant wait to meet this little one that is kicking me and making my ribs hurt :) Curtis thinks its a girl, I think only a boy would kick a girl this hard haha.

Curtis is off reffing a hockey game so I should fold the laundry. Yes, I am domesticated!

Weird

It is a weird feeling when you pick up the newspaper and see an article about someone you know, especially when they have been charged with second degree murder. I feel sad, angry, and frustrated. Knowing this kid since he was young and now he will be going to jail for a long time. While justice is being served, my heart still goes out to him.

Please keep this young man in your prayers. He was the son/foster child of a family that would take me to church on Sundays and whom I spent a lot of time with. My heart truly aches for this family and what they are going through.

Its A New Year!

I am not one for making New Years resolutions. This is because most of the time it has to do with my weight somewhat and then when I dont reach my goal I get sad and depressed and eat a bucket of ice cream (not just a small container, a bucket). So this year I didnt want to set a weight goal. And that, of course, is because right now I am 26 weeks pregnant. So what is the point? I am going to eat cookies and ice cream and enjoy it, to a certain extent. I have only gained about 12 lbs in this pregnancy so according to a lot of people, that aint so bad.

So.... for a couple of resolutions..... here we go:
1. Become a more loving wife. For those who know me really well, you know that marriage has been a struggle since day one. I love my husband more than anything, but its my mother in law. And because I struggled with her.... it became a struggle with my husband. Since I can not change my mother in law, i need to change my heart towards my husband. He cant control what she does.... we can only control how much time we spend with them and how we let their attitudes and beliefs affect us. We are allowed to have our own opinions and beliefs!

2. Call the people I love more. Facebook has destroyed (or I have let it destroy) having meaningful conversations on the phone with my loved ones and friends. I miss everyone so much, I need to be willing to call...... even if I have to do all the calling. Sometimes I get frustrated with being the one calling all the time so I just dont.

3. Make more interesting dinners. Whats for dinner hunny? Oh pasta or stirfry or chicken or chili. Those are our main dinners. ITs sad, I know. So I want to make a point of spicing up the food we eat.... and eating more healthy. (Which totally does not correspond with my need to eat cookies and ice cream).

4. Exercise more. Not for the weight loss but for general health. Its hard working all day then making dinner and finding time to exercise. But if it becomes part of a routine, I know it would work better.

5. And 5 goals is good enough. Learn to love myself more. This is no easy task. I am my worst critic! Totally. And part of that is acceptance, which is hard for me. ITs easier to point out my own faults.

So here I go. 2011. So many changes. Baby due in a few months. A husband who loves me and I love so much... making changes to better us instead of worrying about you know who. We can do it, God will help along the way!